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Let me start this by telling you that I had my first sexual experience in the first grade with the teacher’s daughter. Not that we knew exactly what we were doing, but, with our combined curiosities we did manage penetration. Now comes the rest of the story. When I was in the third grade, I lived in a rural area and had to walk a mile to and from school. At the half way point, there was a gas station where most of us kids would stop for sodas or candy. This was in the day of full service so there was always an attendant on duty. I really don’t remember how old the attendant was, but at 8 or 9, even 20 year-olds are old.
On my way home one day, I happened to go in the gas station by myself. When the service station guy saw I was alone, he came up to me in the candy isle where I was browsing and took my hand and put it over his cock which was still inside his pants. It was hard as a rock and had to be at least three times as big as my own. He just stood there rubbing my hand over his cock saying things like "feels good, doesn't it? - someday yours will be this big"
He told me if I would come back again by myself that he would treat me to whatever I wanted in the store and that he would take his cock out of his pants so I could get a real close look at a mans cock. He also told me he thought I would really like what I saw. I thought it was a bit strange and at the same time very exciting because we were doing something “naughty” and it would be our secret. I was scared as hell and at the same time it captured my curiosity.
Needless to say I was frightened, confused and yet strangely looking forward to that secret meeting. Several weeks later it happened. On the way home from school I went in and the place was empty except for the service station guy. As soon as he saw me, he led me around so that we were both behind the counter and then pulled out his cock. To an eight year-old, it looked HUGE! Lacking any real reference, I have no idea as to its real size. He had me stroke it a little then he put it to my lips and told me to put it in my mouth and suck it. I was so scared and mesmerized that I did exactly what he said. Because of the differences in our body sizes, I could barely get the head of his cock in my mouth but I did the best I could just sucking the head of it. For some reason I was attracted to the smell and taste of his cock. From what I now know, he was dripping loads of precum, which is one of the sweetest things on this earth. I guess the idea of having this little kid suck his cock was just too much for him to last very long. Before I knew what was happening, his cock got a little bigger, started jumping and started squirting in my mouth. I didn't know what was happening so I just let his cum flow down my throat. As I recall, it tasted kinda sour but not real bad and I was too afraid to not swallow. After he finished, he bought me some candy and a soda. I was so excited I was shaking all over and could barely consume my bounty. This scene played out several more times over the period of a couple of months, till the end of the school year. It seemed as though I would find reasons to walk home alone so I could stop at the gas station, take the head of his huge cock in my mouth and make him cum. At such a young age, I felt as though I had some power over him and enjoyed exercising that power. Each time it happened, I felt a little more comfortable and got to actually enjoy the feel of his massive cock in my little mouth and at the same time I knew I was doing something, not only naughty, but different than what other kids my age were doing. Over time, I grew to really like the taste of his cock and after getting accustomed to the taste of his cum, I enjoyed that also, almost as much as I liked having my run of the candy isle when he was finished. When school started the next year, it became apparent he no longer worked there - maybe he had done something similar with someone else and had gotten caught. As weird as it was, I could almost imagine that if circumstances had presented themselves, I would have willingly sucked the head of his cock all that year and enjoyed it.
Regardless, that experience did not make me shy away from cock, it just made me very secretive and shy. It would be almost seven years before trying it again, this time with someone my own age. That experience caused me to face labels for the first time in my young life. I had another brief experience while in the military but mainly stayed away from sucking cock and lived a very straight life until about three years ago when the old tapes started playing in my mind. Dealing with labels all my life, at first, based on what all the kids believed, I was a "queer." The only qualification was to let another guy even touch your dick. Well, what I had done was many times more queer than that. As I matured, I came to think of myself as bi-sexual, leaning much heavier towards the hetro side of the fence where I still live. I have now come to think of myself as a "straight cocksucker." My reason for this self-describing label is two-fold. I am not in the least attracted to the look of men (other than as friends). I don't see some good looking guy and think "wow, what a babe," however I am fascinated with the absolute beauty of a cock. When I suck a guy’s cock, the relationship is between me and his cock - he doesn't exist - only his cock. I get so into what I am doing that receiving his load is my satisfaction. It is even my preference to not ejaculate, only receive his cum down my throat. I do not participate in anal sex – I have absolutely no desire to either give or receive. Kissing and making out is reserved for females only. Secondly, and equally as important, I love the look, scent and feel of a woman. I love the sound of female voices. I love the feel of female lips on mine (and on my cock). The beauty of a cock is only paralleled by a beautiful female ass and gorgeous tits. This narrow focus of my man to man sex is why I no longer even consider myself to be bi-sexual. From my reading over the years, bi-sexual men desire the full range of male sexual activity and I do not. Now, even though I’ve been married for 30 years to a great lady with whom I enjoy great sex (and who gives great blowjobs by the way), I simply cannot get enough cock to suck. In reality, with the exception of having to lead two completely separate lives that are not allowed to cross paths with each other, I consider myself to be very fortunate in my sexual orientation. I think that I'm very lucky to have a wider appreciation of sexual organs that most people allow themselves to experience. While the female form is exquisitely beautiful, a cock is no less beautiful. My gut feel is that more people (especially men) secretly fantasize about some sort of same sex activity than they are willing to admit, even to themselves. I have no idea if my early childhood experience is the reason I am oriented this way or if we are born to certain proclivities. If so, I certainly would not like to ever see my service station attendant persecuted or prosecuted. I’m not sure if he saw something in me and merely brought it out or pushed me down this path. Either way, looking back, I thank him. I cannot reason, only accept things as they are and hope those who come to know the secret side of me, accept me as well.
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