Asexuality Sexual Orientation

By Sextails - Nov 13, 2008 - From Sexuality Articles - Views - 3052

I am an asexual woman. I have no libido. I am not interested in having sex with anyone. I never have. I am a 41-year-old virgin, almost a sin in today's sex-obsessed society.

Asexual people have no libido, or sexual drive, not out of choice but because they lack a sex drive. The spark of sexual curiosity found in most teenagers failed to generate in the asexual man or woman. Asexuals may experience some arousal, erections, or orgasms. Making the physical experience a twosome, though, is not desired. The ability to connect the physical act with another human being simply is not there. Asexuality baffles the medical world because the subject has been virtually ignored. Medical experts claim it could be due to genetics, environment, or past abuse. In other words, no one really knows.

Let us explore my case.

I have never been sexually abused, so past trauma cannot be blamed.

I am not emotionally repressed. I love making an emotional connection with another person.

I grew up in a large family. True, my parents were alcoholics. Neither abused anyone else, though.

I do not drink alcohol. I do not approve of doing so for obvious reasons, and my prescription drugs do not allow it.

Oh, what are the prescriptions I am on, you ask? Perhaps it is causing my lack of a sex drive!

I take Dilantin for my epilepsy and a synthetic thyroid hormone. These drugs cannot be blamed, though. I began taking them in adulthood.

I had no interest in sex while in high school. I became the sensible girl others came to for advice on their relationship problems because I held an objective view.

My spark of sexual curiosity failed to light.

Call me 'pathetic' if you wish. I do not care. This former student did not suffer from peer pressure.

Could my epilepsy or non-functioning thyroid be causing the problem?

Severe epilepsy might affect the part of the brain that signals the sex drive.

By "severe epilepsy", I mean the cases where the victim suffers constant violent seizures. Cases like these often need surgery to correct or lessen the seizures.

My epilepsy is not severe. I have not had a seizure in years, thank God, Dilantin, and knock on wood.

A non-functioning or poorly functioning thyroid is a common affliction in women. The thyroid gland pumps a hormone throughout your organs and brain to normalize their performance (Still no sex drive!).

My thyroid was removed two years ago. Since that time I take a synthetic thyroid hormone to do the job of my late gland. The hormone normalizes the performance of my organs and brain, just as my gland once did.

Otherwise, I am healthy and in good shape. I should have a sex drive. I do not. The mystery remains.

Talking about sex bores most asexual people. It certainly bores me. Unfortunately, today's world is obsessed with rutting so sex is discussed everywhere, in films, television, advertising, books, and around the water cooler.

Sex is a biological function. Urinating feels good, too, but you do not hear people talking about it everywhere you go.

Many sexual people find the idea of being asexual hard to fathom because sex is a major force in their lives, thanks to the pressures of society. Most sexual people equate sex with emotion, whereas the asexual cannot. I have never considered my lack of interest strange or abnormal, not even while in high school.

I like the woman I have become. Being asexual enables me to explore my spiritual and intellectual life without distractions.

All of this is, of course, my story. Every asexual person's story is different.

Common questions people have asked:

1. Do I miss the intimacy of a sexual relationship? I have never had nor desired a sexual relationship. Opening my mind and heart to another person has been more than satisfying in countless ways.
2. I must be lonely. I am not lonely. Many asexual people prefer to have close friends instead of lovers. I have friends and a frighteningly large family.
3. Don't you want children? I do not want children. I like children. I also like tigers, but that does not mean I want one. I do not have the patience needed for motherhood. 4. Maybe you are a repressed lesbian. You aren't very feminine. No, I am not. I look too much like my father. Perhaps I am asexual because of my genetic structure? My body is strong, healthy, and made to be practical. I like it because I am practical and low-maintenance by nature.

Lesbians have expressed interest in the past. I politely refused and wished them luck elsewhere.

5. What about George Clooney? (My sister asked this) He is a good-looking man and a great actor. I am capable of admiring a handsome face without wanting to wake up to it the next morning.

6. Is it okay for other people to talk about sex around you? Go ahead if you must. I know a few good dirty jokes. I am not a nun!

7. If you could become a sexual person, would you? No. I like who I am. My life is far less problematic than the lives of most sexual people. I am an asexual woman immune to the power of the great sex god. Life is sweet and peaceful.

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