Hosting a Swinger Party
Hose off the patio or deck, set up the Hawaiian torches, clean up the barbecue and stock up on food and drink. Winter's history and it's time for a serious swing-party! Good plan and it makes you want to get down big-time!
Some of our readers are experienced in hosting a swingers party. However many are not and they are the target audience for this article. Those of you who've 'been there, done that' might learn something new.
Mandy (my wife) and I have done articles on swinging, but geared to intimate sessions with just two couples. The focus of this discussion is on a much bigger event. We've been there, done that, and our experience can help you plan and enjoy a great swing party at your house.
Yes, folks, it takes advanced planning and a real desire to pull it off. Good. Mandy's here and she can give us a lot of great information. You should see the sexy outfit she's wearing.
Mandy: "Just for you, Dear. What did I miss?"
Steve: "Nothing, we're into planning a great swingers party and understanding what it takes to make it happen."
Mandy: "Okay, let's look at few small things not-to-do."
Steve: "Ordering three kegs of beer before the RSVPs come in would be one of those."
Mandy: "We've been that stupid."
Steve: "My point exactly. We also wound up with a week's worth of finger-food stuffed in the fridge."
Mandy: "Regarding the matter of alcohol … be advised: if you provide booze, beer or wine you cannot charge for it, it must be free. The cops can get you for selling alcohol without a license."
Steve: "There's the key; you charge a reasonable fee per couple to cover your expenses (not to include alcohol). Guests bring their own booze. An acceptable fee is about $30.00 per couple, $15.00 for singles. Mandy will get more into that aspect later."
Mandy: "Right, I will, but a word about singles should be covered here. Think about it … if you allow single men to attend your party they can and will out number your other guests. Allowing single females seems hot, but it usually backfires."
Steve: "That applies to private, home swingers parties. The commercial Swing-Clubs are another story and we're not addressing those here. Why do single females cause a problem at a private swingers party?"
Mandy: "It all depends on the attitude of the other females who come to the party with male partners."
Steve: "Are we talking jealous here?"
Mandy: "Yes, but it's basic really. The couple, especially, if married, has been together for a while. They have a rhythm, a feel for each other. Swinging with another couple isn't a problem. Introduce a slinky, sexy single female and sparks may fly."
Steve: "That can kill a swing party real quick. Okay, single men at the party, what's your take on that?"
Mandy: "It's a little different animal. Every time we've placed an ad to have a swing-party and clearly stated NO SINGLE MEN! We've been overwhelmed with single men wanting to attend the party - can't they read?" Mandy shakes her head.
Steve: "That pisses you off, please be specific."
Mandy: "The mail from the dudes who can't understand, NO SINGLE MEN! Seems to indicate they're above the rule, they're something special! They offer security service, a fantastic addition to a threesome. They fail at both offers and if you allow single men to your private swing-party prepare for trouble."
Steve: Okay, the idea here is to have a nice swingers party in a private home and have it be successful and pleasant for all involved. There are guidelines that work and rules to make the party flow smoothly. Let's sidestep for a moment and cover a couple of, what I would call professionally organized, private, swingers parties."
Mandy: "You're meaning California and Texas?"
Steve: "You got it … lay it out for us."
Mandy: "I'll start with California, but remember your party doesn't have to be on such a level."
Steve: "The difference is obvious."
Mandy: "This is in the area of the top-ten swingers parties. The setting is a sprawling ranch complex about twenty-five miles east of San Diego, California. Weekend swing-parties there are well known in adult circles and you have to be in those circles to be invited. It's couples only and the fee is $500.00. That charge covers all accommodations, food and drink for the entire weekend. You have access to a pool, sauna, and complete bar and catered food service for the weekend. All booze is provided upon request. That was the downfall of the great swingers weekend. The local law couldn't get the operators on anything else but selling booze without a license!"
Steve: And they shut them down.
Mandy: "Fast - and the law gained nothing - fines all around and not squat more!"
Steve: Tell us about Texas.
Mandy: "Sorry … I just can't stand the bullshit that headline-seeking politicians try to dump on us every day."
Steve: "Texas, Mandy, what can we learn from there?"
Mandy: "We spent three years there and learned a great deal. I mean Dallas specifically."
Steve: "It was great!"
Mandy: "A friend of ours has established a rock-solid swingers club in his own home. It's high-end, organized and very successful. Get this - the charge per couple is $35.00 and they bring their own booze. There's a special singles-night for men and women, usually in the middle of the week. These folks pay half price, bring their own booze and mix together as they will."
Steve: "Okay, back to reality. What about the novice couple who would like to get a swingers party going?"
Mandy: "Usually a couple has done some swinging or has attended a swingers club. You should have a good idea about swinging before you decide to open your home to several couples you don't know."
Steve: "What's a good way to get educated in the art of swinging?"
Mandy: "Go to an adult club that's well known and observe. If you feel the urge, get involved. Another way is to get involved with a foursome and see how it goes."
Steve: "I think you'd know if it's your thing right away."
Mandy: "Exactly. You've heard the phrase; ninety percent of sex is in the mind."
Steve: "I thought that applied to men."
Mandy: "It does, dear. However, some couples get a hot idea in their heads because they've seen pictures or videos of group sex and or swing-parties. They fantasize about it and build it up in their mind. Sometimes fantasy should be left at just that."
Steve: "You're scaring the readers."
Mandy: "I think I'm offering a fair warning. Give the idea some serious thought before you jump in with both feet."
Steve: "Sounds kinky."
Mandy: "You're impossible. What I'm saying is; look at the whole picture. Do you really want six-to-ten couples drinking, smoking, eating and having sex all over your house?"
Steve: "Rules, love ... you have to have a set of rules everyone understands before they come to the front door."
Mandy: "Excellent point and it's really necessary if you want to have a great party."
Steve: "Tell us from your experience."
Mandy: "Gladly. Once you've decided on having a swingers party, start promoting it at least a month in advance and avoid Friday night."
Steve: "What's wrong with Friday night?"
Mandy: "Nothing, I love it, but most couples have worked all day, it's already six o'clock, they need some time to wind down. Considering an 8:00 or 9:00 PM party twenty or more miles away can take the spark out of it."
Steve: "So Friday night is out?"
Mandy: "Not altogether, but our experience indicates less response for a Friday night swing-party. In fact, the clubs we've attended have cut prices and allowed singles on Friday nights just to get more people in."
Steve: "Two of them have stopped operating on Friday nights."
Mandy: "There it is, apply the facts to your own party plans. Don't try for a Friday night bash, make it Saturday. And, unless you're really established as a great swinger's host, don't even consider week-night parties … they fail every time."
Steve: "What about the other rules? We're running out of space here."
Mandy: "Decide if you'll allow smoking, if not, make that clear. If cameras are going to be allowed, make sure you say so up front. Many swingers don't want pictures or video and they will not attend your party. If you do allow photos or video, respect the wishes of those who decline."
Steve: "What else? We need to move on."
Mandy: "Don't allow drunkenness, fighting, arguments, or forced activity of any kind - NO IS NO! That must be respected. Over book - right, just like the airlines."
Steve: "We learned that the hard way."
Mandy: "We did indeed. Post your party message in as many personal ad places as you can. Be specific on how many couples you want to attend. Ask for an E-mail so you can send more information. Your response is where you lay out the rules, the date and time of the event and any theme you might have in mind. This is where you request an RSVP and a MUST phone call (give your phone number in an E-mail only) NOT in the ad you place. If fifteen couples respond and you can handle only ten - let it go; you'll only get about five couples to actually call you to get directions and two of those won't make it. That's how it is, people go on and on about being swingers, but when you get to the bottom line, they're full of beans!"
Steve: "We're being up front here because we've 'been there, done that'. We don't mean to put a wet blanket over your swingers party, just understand what you hope to undertake. As Mandy suggested, themes work, we know that first hand."
Mandy: "Holiday themes are obvious, make costumes optional (some people won't go to the trouble). For a non-holiday bash come up with something kinky and plan on decorating to reflect the theme."
Steve: "Sweetheart, we have to wrap."
Mandy: "I suggest a month of posting ads before the event. Post to as many personal ad sites as you can. We know Sexy ADS works. We hosted a fantastic swingers party last October with a Halloween theme. We followed that with a Thanksgiving theme and both were a great success."
Steve: "The Halloween party was a major blast. However, the Thanksgiving theme proved to be an absolute turkey fest."
Mandy: "Funny. There's a lot more to show and tell in regard to swing-parties. Plan your party with care and attention to details."
Steve: "Thanks, Mandy. I'm sure our readers will be much better prepared now that we have had this little swingers chat."
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