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Swinging is a form of recreational social sex between consenting adults, most commonly consisting of male/female couples meeting other male/female couples for sex and/or ongoing intimate friendships. Singles (mostly single guys) can also become involved to a limited degree.
Swinging in Australia, along with most other English speaking countries, dates back to the 1950's. Initially, personal ads were the only way to meet people in this particular lifestyle. Anyone attempting commercial swingers parties back then would have been shut down by the moral watchdogs almost immediately. In the USA an umbrella organization called the North American Swing Club Association (NASCA) was formed to promote accurate information about the lifestyle all across the country, but in Australia and New Zealand there is no single group that promotes on behalf of the whole industry.
Swinging (otherwise known as "the lifestyle" or "the swinging scene") can take a variety of different forms. Although single women are generally welcome at swinging events, the degree to which single men are accepted varies. Although female bisexuality is very much accepted in the swinging community, the degree to which male bisexuality is accepted also varies. Swingers parties can be "on-premises" (which means that one may interact sexually with others at that event) or "off-premises" (which means that one would generally go back to the home or hotel room of other couples for sex, after deciding to do so at the event). A party such as 'DEBAUCHERY' is an on-premises party, while SAINTS AND SINNERS is officially an off-premises event. The parties, along with magazines such as VIXEN, ACM and SEARCHLIGHT are still the best ways to hook up with other people in the scene. Swingers come from all areas and occupations, and tend to be in the 20-50 age groups. While many guys are keen to try the scene almost as soon as they're out of their adolescence, women usually wait until their mid-twenties or later.
Swinging for Men
By including these warnings I do not mean to imply that all or even most men would ever act like this; chances are if you're still reading this article you already have a healthy social sense and wouldn't think to misbehave in these ways. But anyway, here goes...
Attempting to hire an escort or sex worker to go to a swinging event with you, if you don't have a regular female partner, just so you can get in the door is a terribly poor idea. It's considered inappropriate at many clubs, and may well be sufficient to get you black-listed, and is a ruse that is highly likely to be noticed by others. A related concept is taking along someone who isn't really your primary partner and isn't really interested in swinging. At DEBAUCHERY we call such people 'door passes' (i.e. you just used them as a "door pass" to get in the door), and this practice isn't looked upon favorably either. In fact, they'll black-list you.
If you want nothing more than to see your female partner swinging and having sex with another woman, you will probably be better off forgetting about it until she brings it up. Wandering around by yourself attempting to find a woman who wants to have sex with her, or otherwise trying to push this personal choice into happening, is considered quite crass.
Finally, please remember to converse with both members of a couple you and your partner are interested in, not just the partner you are interested in having sex with. Ultimately it's your ability to form friendships with COUPLES which will determine the quality of your experience in the swinging community.
A Guide to Swinging - Swinger Etiquette (Do's and Don'ts on how to act at a swinger party)
Swinging, like anything else, has rules. These rules of etiquette allows you to have a more enjoyable and safe experience while participating in any swinger parties or events. Taking some time to learn about swinger etiquette will ease some of the worries about what to expect when going to a party for the first time.
Different Swinger Party, Different Etiquette
Different hosts or parties may have somewhat different rules so it never hurts to give them a call before hand to acquaint yourself with what is expected at that particular party.
Swinger Party Timeliness
When you are attending a swinger party it is important to be on time. At swinger parties or events, "fashionably late" is not cool.
Swinger Party Invitations
If you are invited to a party or event, it is always polite to let the host know if your can attend or not. There is quite a bit of preparation that goes into a swinger party and it is nice for the host to know how many attendees there will be. If you are going to attend it is a good idea to ask the host if there is anything you could bring. ie. food or snacks.
Arriving at the Swinger Party
When you attend a swinger party, arrive and leave with your partner. It is considered bad etiquette for either partner to arrive or leave alone thus leaving a single at the party.
Swinger Party Dress
Most swinger parties require casual but attractive clothing. If the party is an on-premise party it may be a good idea to take along some comfortable and sexy type clothing, such as robes and lingerie. Keep your valuables you take with you to a minimum as a problem will only cause embarrassment to the host and others.
Swinger Party Cleanliness
Grooming and cleanliness are essential when attending a swinger party. Arriving showered and shaved will make yours and other's party experience very enjoyable. Take along any toiletries you may need including towels. Remember to also bring any safe sex supplies that your require for a safe and fun evening.
Decisions to Make Before Attending a Swinger Party
Before attending a swinger party or event you should decide with your partner as to how you want to participate in the activities. Do you want to participate together or alone. If you decide you want to participate together it is important not to abandon each other.
Swinger Party "Tickets"
No, this is not what you need to get in. "Tickets" are someone who attends a swinger party with another, just for the sake of getting that person into the party and has no intention of swinging. "Tickets" are frowned upon big time and will get you banned from that party and maybe even others as the word spreads.
Swinger Party Propositions
The right to say "no" is a steadfast rule at any swinger party or event. If you are not interested in swinging with that particular person or couple, a simple "no thank you" is all that is needed with no explanation needed. Explanations can only lead to problems and hurt feelings.
Alcohol or Drugs at a Swinger Party
While drugs are not a common problem at swinger parties, they are usually prohibited as they can cause all kinds of problems, legally and socially. Many swinger parties are BYOB. Social drinking is deemed okay, overindulgence is not. If you need lots of booze to participate, these parties are not for you.
Swinger Parties and Safe Sex
While STD's have never been a big problem among swingers, safe sex is becoming more and more an "in thing" in the swinger community. The use of condoms are becoming quite common and anybody who is offended by the use of condoms are considered selfish and irresponsible.
Group Sex at a Swinger Party
A room is quite often set up just for group sex in particular. If you are looking for privacy this is definitely not the room for you. The right to refuse still applies in this room just the same.
Hosting a Swinger Party
If you are hosting a party it is good etiquette to anticipate you guest's needs, as in having plenty of towels and wash cloths available and clean sheets on the beds. When they arrive, give them a tour of your house, showing them the bathrooms, bedrooms and explain what bedrooms are to be used for what. ie. group sex room.
Use of Sex Toys at a Swinger Party
Use of sex toys are for the most part welcomed at a swinger party. Make sure your sex toys are always clean before and after and make sure you use condoms on them as well.
The Swinging Lifestyle
While the swinging lifestyle is not for everyone, many have found swinging to be an exciting and satisfying experience. Most people have had thoughts of sex outside their long term relationship and those who have pursued it usually do so by cheating on their partners. Swinging offers people the chance to add variety and sexual fulfillment to their sex lives and may even fulfill a fantasy for both the man and woman. While swinging can enhance a couple's sex life and their relationship, swinging will by no means fix a relationship already in trouble. Couples must have good communication and trust and must be in control of their emotions, as swinging can bring about many different feelings such as jealousy.
What kind of People are Swingers?
Swinging couples come from all walks of life and most are your everyday people with a job, family and children. Swingers tend to be in a strong and trusting relationship, are outgoing, friendly and have a huge sense of adventure. Swingers tend to see the lifestyle as a recreational and social activity.
Do Swingers have more Sex?
While swinging does involve sex, it is also very much so, a social activity, although statistics show that 50% of swinger couples have sex four or more times a week as compared with the rest of the population at 16%. We believe this is due to the enhanced sexual relationship swingers form with their partners due to the exciting lifestyle they follow.
Finding Local Swingers and Swinger Groups
Swingers often prefer to keep their private lives to themselves which sometimes makes it hard to find swingers in your town/city. If you and your partner wish to experiment with swinging, finding other couples who swing can often be an impossible. Lucky for you there is an easy (and free) method of meeting other local swingers and swinger groups.
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