It was 1944, the mid-year of the great war. For most Americans it was a time like no other as not only our soldiers were at war but so was every other individual in our nation. It was total war and in nearly every person's mind was a feeling of grim determination. There was no alternative - we had to win!
During 1942 and 1943, our military forces were fighting a desperate holding action to keep the Axis forces at bay long enough for our giant industrial complex to mobilize and produce the arms and munitions to carry the fight back to their homelands.
It was in the early spring of 1944 that I found myself an eighteen year old sailor fresh out of boot training and assigned to a ship that was undergoing repairs at a major US Navy base. Life on the ship was new and different and I felt a certain hostility as I sought to make a life on board. Liberty at my first opportunity was In order.
So it was that I set off on my first liberty in the wide open sin city that lay just across the channel from the base. As I departed the shore boat that brought people from my ship to the city I felt no confidence in another hostile environment. There was vice and sin everywhere and while I wasn't averse to a little sin, this was totally beyond my comprehension.
Open gambling was to be found in every bar along the main street. Whores openly hawked their wares everywhere. It was a wild, carnival like atmosphere where sin never ceased. There were screams and shouts and boisterous noises coming from everywhere. Thousands of older, more conditioned, sailors were spending their savings from long months at sea for pleasure because tomorrow they might be dead.
For a country boy, raised in the mid-west, it was overwhelming and I moved quickly up towards the quieter part of town, looking neither to the right or left as I sought the safety that lay farther up the street. It wasn't easy as I moved swiftly; first one block; then two, three and four with still no end to the area I hoped to avoid.
Then, suddenly it ended. I was in a whole different world - one that was calm and that I understood. People were intent on buying what ever their ration books allowed or dining in restaurants or going to movies or even to church. I felt safe again!
As I emerged from the sin city to the quieter city that I understood, I started to make a plan for my liberty time. Until that moment, I had no idea what I might do. A movie was out - they were free on the ship. I only had a few dollars to shop and no place to take the goods I bought on to the crowded ship. I'd just eaten a big dinner on the ship.
It was then that I noticed a church with it's doors open and inviting. Something seemed to impel me there and I entered the big sanctuary to find myself alone. I sat.
Then, as I sat alone with my thoughts, a young man and woman came to me and invited me to their meeting in the meeting room. I went and there I found some twenty high school age boys and girls and a half dozen young sailors like myself. I was greeted warmly by all, especially the youth leaders who made it clear that I was welcome in the group.
Being a young man unencumbered with emotional attachments, I took special interest in the girls in that group. The group was pretty much like any other similar group and the girls were also a cross-section of teen-agers. None of the girls particularly caught my attention. . .several seemed to seek mine!
The group met for the stated purpose of bible study but it was really a social event. . . one that boys and girls could meet and mix at socially. I joined them.
From that night on I attended all the church functions and found a full social life there. I am not by nature religious but it was the church where I found a life away from the navy.
It was after the Sunday night service that I spied a young woman, older than the youth group, sitting alone in the darkened sanctuary and, hoping to make some social contact, I approached her. She was crying.
I sat next to her and said nothing. This young woman needed comfort and I seem to be impelled to provide it. . .but how "Can I help" I asked.
The woman said nothing as her sobbing ebbed and she moved slightly. Then, she turned to embrace me and said, "He's dead! My husband's dead! His vessel is overdue and presumed lost"
Suddenly, the horror of the war was impressed upon me. Until this young woman embraced me, a stranger, seeking comfort, It had been more of an intellectual thing and my tour in the navy a big adventure but this was different. I sat, holding her and trying to offer comfort.
When two girls from my youth group came into the sanctuary I caught their attention and drew them closer with my eye contact. "This young woman has just learned that she lost her husband at sea," I told them and implored them to assist with my eyes.
Then, as more of the youth group gathered around to offer comfort, the woman released her embrace and sat back. She had quit sobbing and sat with a sober look. Gradually, she began to talk. . .her name was Anna Schmidt and she was living in the temporary apartments. She had no friends close by.
The kids in the youth group were quick to offer assistance. The girls offered to stay with her for company and the boys offered her transportation in their cars and using their A-card gasoline rations. Perhaps it was my uniform. . .perhaps it was because I saw her first; I don't know why but she seemed to look to me first for support.
Over the next three weeks, Anna and I became quite close and shared intimacies in many ways - none of which were sexual. Strangely, Unlike when I was with some of the other girls in the youth group, I felt no great sexual urge when I was with her - we were close friends.
Then, my ship put to sea to join in the war. Anna and I communicated daily by Vee-mail letter and I began to develop a certain lust when I thought of her. At first it was hardly noticeable; then, it became stronger and with me4 continually. That lust for her grew with each Vee-mail and I began to feel frustrated. Understandably, I was ashamed of my feelings for another man's wife, especially one as beautiful and vulnerable as Anna.
As the tide of war turned, the enemy began to resort to desperate measures and my ship was in the center of the conflict. The morning that the first suicide plane struck my ship near the bridge, I was in a gun tub well aft and occupied with the job of feeding ammunition to the guns. When the second one hit, it was farther aft and our gun was hopelessly jammed by the impact so I was sent to duties with the repair parties.
We saved the ship. . . without power or lights, our kitchen demolished, we that remained in the crew rode our hulk home in a grim mood. I had grown from a carefree, young man to a serious, mature man with an acute sense of my own vulnerability! Why, with so many of my shipmates dead or wounded, was I spared The war had taken on a very different aspect than it had when I left the shipyard just a few months ago.
This time, when the ship arrived in the yard, I found no fear as I walked the length of the sin city to the church where I met the same youth group but somehow they were different. . . younger, carefree and immature than I remembered them. Only Anna seemed the same.
There was one difference. Anna was a beautiful woman and I found myself lusting after her in my very best covert manner. I salved my conscience with the thought that her husband was dead as I adored her.
Word of my ship's misfortune had spread fast even in the wartime atmosphere of secrecy and when I arrived at the youth group meeting that first night I was treated like a hero by all except Anna who seemed to understand that I didn't feel like a hero.
As the youth meeting was drawing to a close that first night, Anna came an whispered in my ear that she'd like me to accompany her on the bus to her apartment so we could talk.
The bus ride to her place was filled with conversation as we were able to communicate and understand feelings that others could not. I felt her body warmth next to me on narrow seat and felt my body grow alert. Even as my cock rose up to full erection, I refused to admit that I wanted Anna. . . she was another man's wife!
At her apartment complex I walked her to the door and turned to go as she said, "Don't go! I want you to stay!"
Then, inside her tiny apartment, I still refused to admit to myself that I wanted her. . .in spite of my biological urges, she was still another man's wife!
Then, she spoke. "My husband's dead. I've learned to live with that knowledge but it's the lack of intimacy that I'm unable to cope with. I need a man to take me and embrace me and hold me. I need someone I can share my feelings with. Can you understand"
In response, I knew exactly what she was feeling. I, too, needed someone to share my feelings with. Someone I could be at one with before returning to the war.
She removed her coat and hung it; then turned and we embraced and it felt so right. We moved to her tiny living area and sat on her bed as there was no sofa or easy chair. There we continued our embrace as we talked about our innermost feelings and occasionally kissed on the lips.
So it was that we passed that first night together. At 04:30, I arose and cleaned up as best I could before returning to my ship.
The next night, I went directly to Anna's apartment intending to take her to dinner but, on arrival, I found that she was already in the process of preparing a big dinner. She seemed happier than I'd ever known her. . .even light hearted as she kissed me lightly on the cheek and flirted with me. Then, after dinner and clearing the table, washing dishes, etc., Anna turned to me and said simply, "I want you tonight. I need a man who can satisfy this incredible need that I have and you can do it."
"What about your husband"
"I love my husband but he's dead and I'm alive"
"Then, your OK with you and me. . "
"I need you to love me now."
With that, we went to the bed and proceeded to undress and kiss and play with each other in our casual relaxed manner. This night was to be like no other before or since.
When she kissed me on the lips and her mouth opened, I inserted my tongue into dance a fiery dance of passion with hers. We moved to sit on the edge of the bed as our lips remained locked together.
Suddenly, I found my trousers and jumper on the floor next to her crumpled dress. We stood so that I could remove her slip; then lay back on to the bed as I fumbled with the clasp on her bar.
Unlike the previous night, there was a lusty air of excitement about us and my passions were running high. With her breasts exposed and her panties on the floor, she was mine to explore and to adore and to enjoy as I sought to bring her pleasure.
There was no deep conversation or intellectual thinking as there had been the previous evening; instead, there was raw passion and powerful lust. My cock was harder than it'd ever been.
As my hands roved freely over her body, Anna encouraged me in so many ways. Her eyes spoke of a need! Her body reacted to my moves! Her occasional murmurs of satisfaction urged me on!
Then, as my fingers played with her labia and the soft inner tissues, I felt her lubrication flowing for the first time. With that I placed a finger in her vagina and was rewarded with her response. I played and soon began toying with her clit which brought her most intense response yet!
When she cried out, "Do it to me now." I was ready and moved over her and into the cradle between her splayed knees where I positioned myself for entry. It was Anna's hand that grasped my cock and put the condom on it before directed it into her boiling cauldron of sex.
We kissed as my cock slowly wormed it's way into her vagina and against her cervix. As I looked into her eyes, I saw a concern and was about to ask. . .
"My God! You seem bigger than my husband."
"Are you sure It's been a long time."
"I'm think so. Just don't hurt me with that thing."
With that I began my slow withdrawal and thrust to be met by her counter-thrusts. We moved slowly as we became familiar and she met each of my thrusts with her own. Then, we moved faster in response to our rising lust.
We moved in silence, communicating through the eyes and body language! We were good together and brought each other pleasure in so many ways.
That first time lasted only a few minutes; perhaps two or three at most before I felt my peak approaching. . . then, the condom was filled with my spunk.
Of course, we lay together enjoying the incredible afterglow until I felt my cock begin to grow. I placed the second condom over my tool. This time, we came together as before and after a time, I moved to place Anna on top in the cowgirl position. From her position of power, she quickly peaked and brought a crescendo of pleasure for us both.
After that night, life took on an unreal, fairytale like existence as I reported to my ship each day and to Anna's bed each night. It was like we were newlyweds as we took our pleasure in each other.
Only occasionally did I think of the war and of my returning to it; yet, it was only three weeks later when I received orders to another ship and to sea again. With only one night to explain to Anna, I departed, again, for the war.
Back to the ugliness of the final stages of the war when the suicide planes were out in force and our ships were being damaged and sunk at an alarming rate. Anna became a distant memory as all around us ships and men were dying but my second ship was charmed and unharmed as the war eventually ended.
Then came demobilization and the slow return to civilian life. My ship was assigned to pass through the Panama Canal to a new home port on the opposite coast. It was a busy time.
By the time I left the Navy in 1946, the war had been over for more than a year and the country was returning to peacetime. I went back to seek Anna but on arrival at her old apartment, I found it being torn down. . . it's resident gone!
Knowing the small town in Texas that she came from, I continued my search. I went to the small town and began some discrete inquiries among the small population that would surely know her.
My inquiries were met with silence at first; then, a waitress in a local café told me that she had returned a year ago and met and married a young rancher. She advised that I leave and not bother them. . .