Title: The Declitorizer - Author: Anon
Published: Feb 26, 2013 - Contact:
Note: This is a work of fiction!
THE SURGIAMP CORPORATION
NEW PRODUCT INFORMATION:
Regarding the DECLITORIZER
In recent years the mass of information reaching the public about Female Circumcision through the media and the internet has brought a storm of disapproval of the cruel and crude method used in foreign lands.
At the same time it has awakened in the North American woman a desire, for many valuable reasons to have their clitorii removed.
Our research department did a study of this desire and found that hundreds of thousands of women on this continent deeply wanted this amputation. The intensity of this desire had never before been realized. Some comments from participants in this study are:
"If women of other religions could avail themselves of this cut, why couldn't I"
"The satisfaction of having sex with no clit to explode in the middle of the enjoyment could be had then I wanted it."
"My clit is so large that I always have to wear panties to protect it from my outer clothing. If I could be rid of it I could enjoy being pantiless, even when wearing skirts, just as I go bra less.
As a result we formed a team of engineers, mechanical experts, and doctors to design an efficient devise to make this operation simple and safe in the hands of medical staff and other practitioners. The DECLITORIZER is made of our bright and gleaming stainless steel. The balance of this paper covers their resulting product.
The DECLITORIZER if formed of two sections. The first being a head section with various tools made of the finest surgical stainless steel, with two plastic sections described later. It is connected to the second section by a medical hose, which sits under the operating table. It contains a pulsating vacuum pump, a supply of liquid topical anesthetic, and a small bottle of liquid nitrogen.
The head section has certain controls, primarily a range setting for the labia spreader, a switch, and a multi position lever to cause each action to take place.
First with the patient on the table, the head is moved up between her legs until it is inserted into her vagina about 4 inches. At this point the operator must make a judgment at to the setting of the range selector. Should the vagina be young and firm then a setting of 1 or 2 is advised so it will not be torn. For older, more flexible and well used vaginas a setting of 7 would be appropriate. With that setting made, the lever is moved to the first position and the jaws of the spreader spring out and push the lips wide open.
Now a second choice must be made, and this should be done by the patient, that is, to decide on the use of anesthetic. Some patients will want to endure the full array of feelings that will occur during this amputation. If this is their wish, then the anesthetic switch is NOT turned on.
The head is carefully positioned so that the front of the stainless suction tube is brought up to her hood and pushed into the opening. If anesthetic has been chosen then moving the lever to its second position will flood the area with our special topical solution. Otherwise, a dough nut shaped shield will then push the hood fully back and the pulsating vacuum pump will start to suck her clitoris into the tube. Reports are that this is a delightful experience, approaching vibrator stimulation. Soon the clitoral head, or glans, will appear in the clear plastic window indicating that the clitoris has been stretched 1 1/4 inches. If the pump is left running the head can reach the end of the window, a length of 2 1/4 inches. This is also a decision of the operator based on visual inspection of the clitoris and how well it is standing up to this stretching. To snap it would be disastrous. Simply press the button on the lever and the vacuum pump suction will drop back to a sustaining level.
Moving the lever to the next position places the jaws of a surgical clamp very tightly down on the clitoris. Experience has shown that the patient may reach climax at this point. We advise that you let her experience that fully, and allow a few moments for her to recover her breath so she is ready to enjoy the next stage.
The next position swiftly brings a replaceable scalpel blade swinging in a tight arc and the clitoris is severed. It will be pulled back by the vacuum action until it is deposited in the removable clear plastic holding cup, where it can be quickly removed by an assistant for placement in a decorative glass bottle filled with formaldehyde so that the clitoris is preserved and can be displayed in the patient's home, or so it can be sent out for bronzing to form a necklace pendant or a charm for a bracelet.
The last position of the lever shoots a small but direct stream of liquid nitrogen to cauterize the stump and kill any nerves remaining there. Upon completion of the cauterizing of the stump the clamp and jaws will retract and the stump will withdraw into the vaginal wall. The hood itself will eventually shrink away. The patient can now leave with minor painkilling pills. You, the operator, need only replace the holding cup with a clean one, replace the scalpel blade, and move on to your next patient.
Allowing for various patient choices experience shows that one clitoris can be removed every six minutes, permitting a harvest of 10 per hour, or 50 in a working day. We at Surgiamp, using volunteers from our staff and the community harvested 500 clitorii as a foundation for testing and further research, over a period of two weeks. The DECLITORIZER worked flawlessly during this test. We are proud to say that over 50% of our female staff are now clitless and overjoyed with the results.
FOLLOW UP RESEARCH
One year after our tests we interviewed each patient and documented the results. Over 99 percent were fully satisfied. The overall feeling of these patients was that they were pleased to have joined the ever growing sisterhood of clitless women in North America.
One patient expressed concern that she still had feelings of sexual excitement in that area of her vagina, and the urge to masturbate where there was nothing to masturbate. From our notes during her operation we felt that we had not extended her clitoris fully into the vacuum tube. She was treated a second time with liquid nitrogen and this has cured her problem.
Other patient commentaries include these quotations:
"I was eighteen when you operated on me, and I had been having sex for four years. It was always annoying how my partners would finger my clit before entering me. That problem is gone and the sex has been infinitely better."
"For the first time in my life I can enjoy hours of sex without worrying about early orgasm spoiling it."
"I do miss the joy of climaxing while being eaten by my partner, but this is compensated by a deeper, stronger orgasm from my G spot."
"My only disappointment is that I was not born with two clitoris's so that I could have had them both done, and ended up with a pair of ear rings."
As a result of this success, our team is now investigating two more devices:
1 - a modified DECLITORIZER for the young woman with a smaller, less mature vagina and clitoris.
2 - a similar device which we plan to call the DENIPPLIZER, for those women who wish to proceed towards a full nullification.
OTHER INFORMATION GATHERED
This information is based on commentary made by patients during amputation procedure.
87% expressed delight with the clean shining appearance of the DECLITORIZER.
Some patients were nervous and hence had tight vaginas. The DECOITORIZER had to be forced in. Of these 90% expressed how wonderful it felt going in.
84% of all patients commented on how good it felt having their lips spread wide open.
54% chose not to have anesthetic, a surprisingly low number based on early judgment by our team. Of these many did scream when the clamp tightened on their clitoris, but when asked if they then wanted anesthetic, nearly all still said no.
72% were thrilled to see their clitoris stretched and appearing in the window. Most then continued to watch as it was stretched further. At this point 6 patients had second thoughts, but decided to continue.
89% were not aware that their clitoris had been severed until it was shown to them by the assistant.
69% chose to have their clitoris preserved in some manner. Of this group 58% chose preservation in our deluxe display bottles, and 42% chose bronzing in one of the two methods offered.
A small number of patients (number not recorded) did express unhappiness at being strapped to the operating table, but agreed once it was explained that the back would be cranked to an upright position so they could watch.
Off the 500 test cases, one women decided to back out as she was about to lay on the table. She did say "Your machine is so thrilling to look at, and I'm so tempted just to have it in me, but, but, I'm not 100 percent sure." We advised her to not go ahead. Near the end of the second week of harvesting she came back and had her amputation done. She had heard from her fellow workers how good it was.
Word spread through patients telling (or showing) their friends, and in the following weeks and our switchboard was inundated with requests which we had to turn down and put them on a referral list.