Editors Note: This is the 6th letter in the series, you may want to read Part 1 first.
Army of Northern Virginia
13th Calvary Brigade
16th Battalion Virginia Calvary
July 5th, 1862
Malvern Hill, Virginia
Trudee, My Treasure,
My heart is grievously wounded for your sake. Remember that we are brother and sister for all our days; be comforted in my undying affection for you. It is right and proper for me to seek an advantageous match to carry on our heritage and to secure an heir for Hazel Park. I would have done this even had our parents survived. Constance is a fine lady. She comes from a good family with their own property. In a financial sense she can only add to the legacy I will bequeath to our children. Your own interests have been attested to in Fathers estate and cannot be touched. You are a woman of means. If Constance has ideas about advancing the concerns of Hazel Park you would do well to promote her success and I feel it would be to your advantage to even join your own resources to ours.
As far as Constance's behavior is concerned, I have the utmost trust in her discernment, discretion and compassion. It is unseemly for you to tattle as a small child about others. There is no reason to doubt my dear Connie's felicity. Your accusations of misconduct betray an ulterior motive to discredit a woman of sophistication and dignity. I will hear no more unsubstantiated rumormongering! Constance is not your better; she is your peer unless you show yourself to be her inferior. I truly feel that this outburst is a misguided expression of a natural concern for my safety. Be not afraid. I will come home to you both.
You will never be disposed of your inheritance nor of my affection. During this tragic time in our nation's life it is the steadfast diligent industriousness of her people that will restore her fortunes afterward. In this it would be well for you to engage in some project or charity by which you establish your own pre-eminence in the community. Where ever I am stationed there has been some woman of dignity championing the cause of charity and community. She is everywhere thought of and sought after for her council. In many cases she has been instant with support for the troops even before our arrival. I urge you to do likewise and elevate the name of Whiteside and our beloved Hazel Park in the country's estimation. This war will not continue forever and when it is done men that are currently serving will assume the offices of state and chart the next chapter in our history. Only those whose reputations are untarnished by mean spirited pettiness and aloof disinterest will be called upon. If you bear me any love at all you will endeavor to secure this future for me.
There is still a future for us. The comfort we have shared in no way has passed away because of my new circumstance. Recall the many nights that we danced and played for our parents; how I pretended to be a great leader and you imagined yourself a worldly beauty. That was not far from the truth. Lovely you have always been. Momma delighted to dress you in the latest fashions and the ones from France were my favorites. How daring you would be when you curtsied and would withdraw your fan to reveal an immodest décolletage. I never tired of peering at your cleavage. The cinched waists accentuated the womanly roundness of your hips. Remember how I would draw you tightly to me and Momma would chide me for my boorish behavior and make me release you. I know you could feel the earnestness in which I held you close.
We will once again stroll the grounds together after entertaining and talk of private things in stolen whispers and furtive touches. It is from you that I first learned about the tender compassion shared between man and woman. I still thrill to your touch on my arm. When you awoke that night I had come to your room before to look at you. It was through you that I learned what beauty is. I needed to see what all those layers of perfumed lace and satin concealed. You had thrown the quilt from you and lay tangled in your nightgown. I could see you were dreaming something passionate and in my own over-stimulated state imagined it was one of our stories that we would tell each other after the practice parties. I thought then that it would be possible to actually live one. I imagined myself a dashing rogue come to the oppressed princess' boudoir. Tenderly I sunk to my knees next to you and clutched your hand. I kissed it, yet you did not awake. Fearing that the tangle of clothes may strangle you, I gently pulled your limbs free and lifted the garment about your shoulders. That was the first time that I ever fully viewed a woman. I was amazed. Your breasts appeared to be firm pools of finest cream with small rosebuds on top. Without thinking I then lowered your knickers. The down covered mound between your thighs aroused a throbbing sensation in my loins. I thought that you must be cold and I could warm you with my own body. I lifted my own nightshirt and lay on you. The pulsing hardness between my own legs nestled firmly between yours. I kissed you. I kissed your neck. Still you did not awake and continued to dream. I kissed your breasts and sweeter kisses I have not found. Your legs became less tightly closed, whether from my kisses or your dream I do not know. My hard flesh came in contact with the wet source of your heat and pressed forward. It was the tearing resistance that awoke you. I was grateful that you were comforted by my presence after suddenly awaking from your dream that you did not notice the pouring of my essence into your belly. I was terrified, but you comforted me with tender words of gratitude. Remember that gratitude now. Know that it is as much for you that I will survive this war and that I am coming home to you also.
In Tender Regard,
Your Loving Brother, Thomas.