Some men are simply inept at pursuing women. They are not neurotic or sick in the mind, just lacking confidence and shy. Of course, most have the normal sex drives and lusty appetites that lead to frustration. When faced with imminent death, the remainder of their life is compressed into a few minutes and reason and passion reign. So it was in this story.
THE FEAR OF DEATH by Bobjj123
In fifteen minutes half of this group I was standing with my be dead. It's often the lot of the soldier to die for his cause but for Civil Engineers it was not usually expected, nor would I have chosen that profession if I'd even suspected it. It's not that I'm a chicken, or maybe it is; anyway. The time for those decisions has passed and I'm here. . .expecting to die.
It's not like I'd be dying for home and country. I was about to die for some other guys country and I didn't even know which guys we were for and which ones we were against in this crazy, mixed up land. Obviously, it's the guys we're against that have us rather hopelessly pinned down in our construction camp.
Of course, when Brenda Kaplan and I volunteered to build bridges in this backward country, we were interested in two things that seemed unimportant now; to see the world and for the fabulous pay that was offered. Even then, I probably wouldn't have volunteered except for Brenda and the thought of being alone with her in a foreign country away from all that's familiar.
Ah yes! The thought of that long black hair, blue eyes, tall, trim figure and pleasant personality. I'd known Brenda since college days but we traveled in different circles. She was the objective of every engineering student and faculty member on campus and had an active social life. I, on the other hand, was the nerd and socially inept! Brenda and my only common virtue was our grades - we were at the top of our class academically.
Then, after graduation, we went our separate ways spent several years of working on construction projects before coming together again in the employ of Gordon F Wiese, Inc. There we both managed construction projects and, though not in the same office, often conferred on project matters. I was still the nerd and she was still beautiful and sexy and smart - we still traveled in different circles.
Only at night, as I dreamed those wild erotic dreams were we close. Then, my imagination could run wild and I could enjoy her company. She was hot!
Then, when the representative from Haimes and Carver, Inc. Came around seeking Construction Engineers for foreign work, Brenda had been quick to sign on. About the same time, I followed. With our old projects completed, I soon found Brenda and I and three other men in Texas undergoing training for our work.
When we were issued flak jackets and helmets and taught how to wear them and instructed in infantry tactic and self defense I should have suspected but Brenda was right beside me and we were traveling in the same circle at last. For four weeks, Brenda and I spent our days in the hot Texas sun and our evenings In the base pub nursing our beer. Still, my fear of rejection kept us just friends.
Four weeks later we were graduated from our training and assigned our projects. Brenda asked for the most outlying project. . .one farthest from any form of western civilization and as the other men chose projects closer in. I found myself on the same project as Brenda and we were soon out here in this God-forsaken mountain range in the construction camp. A small unit of the country's citizen Soldiers were in charge of security and were a continuing nuisance as they insisted we practice war in their dugout bunkers and get familiar with the slit trenches. We lived and worked in a group of portable cargo boxes converted for offices and living quarters where my hootch was directly adjacent to Brenda's and It was nice to walk to meals together and work together and socialize together.
Anyone, less of a nerd than me, would have made a move on the beautiful Brenda but I simply found no opening to make such a move. . . I thought about her constantly and the night time episodes grew more frequent.
My two bridges progressed well, ahead of schedule and under budget, as did Brenda's roads. Perhaps it was the time to make my move. . .
But it wasn't to be as shots rang out and the big claxon sounded the alert. I had just arisen for the day when it happened and as I raced for my bunker, I saw Brenda behind me. There were several explosions somewhere in the distance as we ran and then, once inside our dirt house a tremendous explosion shook the timbers in our little bunker and Brenda moved closer to me for comfort.
A few minutes later, the Commanding Officer of the military protection force came into the bunker and announced that most of his men had deserted and he had only a dozen soldiers left. . . we were to take guns and man the slit trenches!
So that explains why I am facing death and wondering if I was worth it.
As Brenda and I take turns peering out our small view port we talked. Fist it was light talk about our current situation; then, it moved to more personal talk. . . I was stunned when she asked me why I'd never come on to her and I found myself trying to explain that I didn't think I had a chance with her.
She kept prodding me. . . she had tried to get me to date her in Texas but I had always been so distant. Again, I had no answer. . .not a good one anyway. "I wanted you to ask me out way back when we were in college, but you seemed so distant." What could I say- I'm obviously the dumbest guy ever!
Then, as she hunkered down in our trench she said she guessed it was too late now. Suddenly, I spoke with confidence. . .with a strength I didn't know I possessed. "Come on," I said as I raced along the slit trench and found the officer in charge.
I explained that the big box beams in the bridge structure were made of inch thick steel plate and that it was accessible from only a single walkway. We could hold off that rag-tag rebel army from there until help arrived.
Half an hour later, Brenda and I lay encased in the big bridge beam. We lay in a piece of the structure that lay at an angle of about 45 degrees with our water bottles, rifles and little else. Outside the war had ceased and there was only silence.
We faced each other and, pumped with adrenalin from our situation, suddenly I kissed her- a tentative kiss, softly on the lips; then, meeting no resistance, I slipped my tongue into her mouth which opened willingly and engaged her tongue with mine in a fiery dance. Suddenly the war was not so grim and imminent death seemed somehow less important.
As we lay together I observed her eyes were clear pathways to her mind and behind the fear I saw there was a passion. It was a reflection of my own as well. I felt my body quicken in response to a sudden surge of lust! I thought, "What a hell of a place to get horny." Then, she smiled as said, "I've wanted to kiss you ever since college days. To bad we had to wait until our last day on earth!" Reality again!
As we lay huddled together inside the massive beam, the war began again and soon the sound of bullets ricocheting among the beams was frightening. From my vantage point I saw one of our enemies climbing the ladder to get to our bridge and I aimed and fired the rifle that I had been handed at the beginning of the battle. The man fell and with a scream he dislodged the two men behind him on the ladder.
Suddenly the attack came from across the river where we had no defense and again I fired from my vantage point. This time, a burst and the bullets as they ricocheted off the steel beams created a fearful situation for the attackers. . . they retreated! There, beside me, Brenda was firing at the men on the ladder as well.
Our first indication that we might live came as we saw the attackers begin to move away and regroup at the edge of the camp. Then, we heard the sound of the big rotors on the helicopters bringing the relief force. . . only they didn't come, passing direcdtly over instead!
As we retreated back inside our beam, I felt myself shaking. . . I had killed men! My mind was in chaos! Even Brenda, beside me, was no distraction. The thought returned briefly that we were still in danger as the helicopters had apparently gone away. Beside me, Brenda moved closer and embraced me for comfort as she said simply, "Hold me." Then , we lay together, facing imminent death.
As we lay there, the sound of gunfire commenced again with more intensity than ever. There were explosions and automatic weapons fire as our small group expended the last of our ammunition. Now, the only thing left was to die. . . strange how calmly we approached those last moments - hope had faded and the fear was gone.
An hour passed, then two as the war raged all around us. . . it wasn't our security detail, they'd expended all their ammunition earlier, that was firing! Then, the shooting stopped. . .not all at once but gradually, ebbing away to silence. It was Brenda who raised up first to peer out of the girder and she shouted, "They're ours!"
With the knowledge we were safe again, we began to move out of our safe spot in the girder. I went first and proceeded to try to assist Brenda up to the temporary walkway but I found myself shaking and too weak to assist her. Only then did I reveal us to the men below and seek assistance.
Half an hour later, on the medical evacuation helicopter, did I begin to feel the aches and pains. Brenda had a cut on her forehead that required stitches to close. I had a six inch long gash on my leg and numerous small cuts and bruises but what both of us were feeling most was the fact that we had killed. . . It would haunt us long after the cuts and bruises had healed!
Brenda was the only one who understood. She was the only one that could know what I was feeling and I needed her. Unfortunately, I reasoned, back in civilization again, we would be traveling in different circles, I dared not hope!
Eventually, in the hospital, we were kept for two nights for observation and as we were admitted, I was given a private room. A few minutes later, the hospital staff wheeled Brenda's bed in beside me. Brenda explained it simply, "I didn't want to be alone and you're the only one who really understands what I've been through." Between the fatigue of the battle and the sedatives we had been given, we slept soundly.
For two days, Brenda and I consoled each other. We often just looked into each other's eyes as we saw the terror fade and peace return. It was a good feeling and often we simply reached out and touched one another to find solace. With the bandages and the bruises, we were a sorry duo.
Then, we were discharged from the hospital. . .two civilians and alone in a hostile environment. It was Brenda that found a supply convoy headed for nearby Uzbekistan and secured us a seat on it. Two hours later we were at the border.
It was at the border that we were detained briefly while we were given visas and identity cards. A friendly native, who spoke fluent English, offered us a ride into the city where we registered into a hotel. "Two rooms," I ordered and Brenda looked at me as she said quietly, :"One room will do."
It was then that I felt the lusty excitement that her statement was suggesting. Still unsure, I paid the bellman and moved our meager luggage into a very nice room. When I turned to face her, Brenda moved to me and embraced me.
As I reveled in her body warmth and our closeness, she said simply, "Hold me." Then, still in the embrace I noted the large European style bed which was really two single beds moved together with a common mattress cover and covers. Noting this I said, "Brenda, the bed is made up as a single. I can have them moved apart. "Do you really want to" she asked and I responded, "Do you" As our eyes met, I knew the answer.
It was late in the day when we arrived at the hotel and past our usual dinner hour by the time we had gotten familiar with our room so we went downstairs to the restaurant where we had a very scrumptious meal before returning to our room for the night. I, of course, had been duly excited at the prospect of sleeping with the beautiful Brenda since we had first arrived and agreed to sleep together. My erection grew and diminished regularly as we finished the evening.
Then, on return to the room, Brenda announced that she was tired and we retired for the night - lacking pajamas or night clothes, she in her bra and panties and me in my boxers! We embraced and played a bit as my excitement tended to abate with the pleasant intimacy that we had between us. Soon, I felt her relax beside me and she was asleep. I joined her a short time later...........
Morning seemed to arrive late as the sun was rather high in the sky and shining in our windows. I lay savoring the feel of the sleeping woman beside me and thinking how fortunate I was. . .
Suddenly she cried out in terror, "Hold me!, Don't let them get me!". It was her nightmare and I moved to comfort her in an embrace. It was only after I realized I was against a nearly nude woman - one that I truly wanted - that my lust took on new dimensions. Of course, since there was no way I would take advantage of a woman in so obvious distress, I fought it. I held her, shaking from the frustration I felt, and tried to comfort her as she slowly calmed. Then, she slowly awakened!
As her awareness of what was happening in the real world developed in her mind, she only gripped me closer and began kissing me on the neck and ear. Only then did it begin to dawn what a fool I'd been. . . .
I turned and met my lips with hers. Unlike last time, this was motivated purely by the desire to be with each other and enjoy each other. . .there was no fear. This time, she joined me whole-heartedly and we played together as we talked. She asked me why I'd waited so long to show my feelings for her and I tried to explain that she was beautiful and had so many friends that she could chose whoever she wanted. I was a nerd and women seldom had much to do with me. . . never thought I had much chance.
She seemed rather disturbed by my words. . .like I had insulted her. I said as much. Then, she replied that I was a fool. All those others were after one thing and they were shallow - even insulting. Women were put off by her because they saw me as a threat to their own relationships! You were different. Then came the surprise of my life - she said that she'd asked for information about our overseas job and had about rejected it when she found out I was going. Only after I was signed on with Haimes & Carver did she sign on - then, as if to cover her embarrassment she blushed and said, "I was stalking you"
When my hands moved to explore her breasts I found that her bra was loose and her breast open to my hands. Again I played and soon my mouth was moving where it had never gone before. . .her breasts! . . . beautiful, firm breasts set high on her chest with large, brown areolas and nipples that were made for lips to suckle. As I explored and familiarized myself with Brenda's breasts, we continued to talk. We complimented each other and enticed each other with our words. We adored each other as we played in the morning sun.
Soon, as we enticed each other, I allowed my hand to move lower, across her belly and on to her pantie covered bush. Then, with her encouragement, I allowed my fingers to creep under the waistband of her panties and into her moist vestibule - the warmest, wettest, most comfortable place they'd ever been! Suddenly, she raised her butt and with a flick of her thumbs her panties were gone. My hands ranged freely over her pussy.
As my hands had been, my lips were soon to follow as I left a saliva trail across her belly. Brenda had a beautiful pussy, surrounded by a neatly trimmed bush and it smelled so clean and fresh even after a long night. As I moved around to the foot of he bed in order to get the proper angle to address her cunt with my mouth, I saw the passion in her eyes. I kissed and suckled and licked and ministered to her labia and vestibule for as long as I could stand it; then, moved to suckle on her extended clit.
I might have been there yet, worshiping at her vagina, if Brenda hadn't brought it all to a close as she pulled me up over her and kissed me. Then, she reached her small bag and drew out a vial with a condom in it. "She laughed as she said that she'd brought it from home, nearly two years previously, just for this occasion.
A minute later, with my cock carefully sheathed in the condom, I positioned myself and made the entry. Brenda lay motionless beneath me as my cock slid slowly into her warm, velvety smooth pussy and came to rest against her cervix. There, we remained motionless as we adored each other until our rising lusty passions impelled us to move - to begin the ancient coital rhythm that was part of good sex.
As we moved together with perfect coordination I realized that, though I had enjoyed sex before on several occasions, this was my first affair of the heart and my lust had exceeded anything I'd ever known. My passions seemed to know no bounds as I made love to my beautiful Brenda. It was over all too soon. . .
Then, we lay together in each other's arms enjoying the intimacy and the peace and tranquility of the afterglow and life was good.
With the short vacation over and back at our old project we found everything a shambles - wrecked either in the attack or by vandals while we were gone. Brenda was ordered home while I was detailed to restore the camp and get the project started again.
It was a sad parting as I bid her goodbye at the airport. WE'd see each other in two months but the wait would be interminable.
Of course, there was always the thoughts of Brenda - and my dreams!
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