... In the first days of January 2001 Caroline discovered that her son Billy was using her under garments as a stimulant for his masturbation sessions during the night time ...
Part 1 - The Fetish
Everything had gone fine for Caroline save those 2 sad years, when her husband John, 32 years old, had been pulled overseas on Oil business, leaving her alone to take care of Billy and Emily, their twins, both 9 years old at the time.
Caroline was only 29 then and felt really alone; not that her children didn't show affection and unusual understanding for their age, but she missed physical and sexual contact a lot more than she expected and these were things her children could not do much about, save sleeping with her to keep her company, filling the emptiness of her king size bed for the time being, giving her the warmth she needed so much.
Save a couple of weeks off home once a year, John's long absence had ended only two years later, in 1993.
Things had resumed much as in the past, apparently no major changes with their family, standard mid american family's routine. John's naturally poor social attitude had grown worse though; his major interest was for his job, but Caroline's good nature accepted that and she was not going to push on him.
Years passed steady this way until 2001.
At 39, with a 42 years old husband, a son, Billy, and a daughter, Emily, both 19 now, Caroline already felt like a mid age housekeeper and family caretaker.
Life was mainly routine and her emotional and sexual needs were resting in peace, John mainly taken by his job and one or two recreational activities that kept him out hunting or fishing with his old buddies on Saturdays and once in a while on Sundays too.
So, this was the situation when something happened that changed Caroline's world and points of view on many things.
In the first days of January 2001 Caroline discovered that her son Billy was using her under garments as a stimulant for his masturbation sessions during the night time.
One day in the morning, while doing the laundry, she had found her lingerie coated with dry sperm and there were just two men in the house that could have possibly done that: her husband and her son.
Certainly, John wasn't the masturbation kind and in any case he had no need of masturbating himself whatsoever; once or twice a week John and Caroline were having sex, nothing to get crazy about, but since she wasn't the lustful or insatiable kind nor a nymphomaniac, she was not in the need to seek help outside her home door.
Having read by chance something about "sexual fetishes" in a health magazine, she guessed it had to be a pretty common behaviour among teenagers picking up the first available female's undergarments to discharge their heats.
Beside the staining on her perfectly good bras and panties, she hadn't gotten upset nor had she mentioned it to anyone else, even less her husband.
During the next few days though, she also found that Billy was using just her lingerie this way, leaving alone his sister's clothes; therefore, she started questioning herself, doubting and even fearing that this could hide something deeper than normal masturbation routine, like a mother desire, which anyway did not exclude the possibility that Emily too could become a target of Billy's sexual advances.
What was she to do!
Whom could she ask!
She did not feel like asking Billy himself!
If she asked him, what were his responses most likely to be!
She feared he might feel like being a pervert or such and overreact!
Could her daughter Emily be in real danger of becoming target of Billy's sexual advances!
She was not sure she would be able to handle that!
Now Caroline was not certainly a prude and, as a responsible mother, she could not effort to be blind sided.
Unwilling to bring this issue before anybody around, not even before her doctor, she decided to go on the net and try and find some answers there.
Google-searching "fetish" and "incest" and following the returned links, discarded the general references for they were of no use to her, she found herself into the homepage of an incest site.
She registered to it and innocently posted her problem openly, in the hope that she could get some answers from people in that kind of community.
She felt safe doing this in first place because after all it had to be a very common issue and secondly because anyone who saw her post had to be there for a similar or even worse reason, and she got lots of post-replies and private messages very soon indeed, some of them very provoking, others by people who just wanted to vent their own sexual fantasies.
She felt disappointed and helpless.
Days passed with no significant changes.
House routine was much the same everyday, between the house, the school, John's work and the weekends, when John used to go fishing, her daughter shopping or partying, being Billy mostly at home, taken by his school errands, some TV and his computer.
Yet, during the weekends, she started to feel uncomfortable and even spied on.
Was it possible that she really be part of some Billy's incest fantasy!
Maybe that was why Billy was spending so much time at home rather than going out with his father or some of his school buddies.
On a Saturday morning, around 11 a.m., she found still wet sperm in under garments she had put in the hamper less then 1 hour earlier.
It was clear that they had been taken out, used and placed back again.
Since her husband wasn't home it was finally certain it had been the only other male living in her home to do it and this led her to the conclusion that there could be definitely more to the story than she might have realized at first.
Billy was somehow targeting his own mother sexually. Why otherwise do such a thing during the day with only the two of them in the house!
There was still no evidence on Emily's lingerie, so she was 100% sure now that Billy had no interest in his sister.
She began to be concerned as to what might happen if any of the other family members faced such a revelation.
John might react very badly and even throw his son out of the door.
She was almost desperate, when, on a Saturday afternoon, March 24th 2001, she got her first useful message.
In fact, checking her mailbox, aside the usual bunch of useless messages from idiots and time wasters, she found a private email note from that incest site.
She clicked on the link, logged herself in and read:
"Dear Caroline, first of all I feel that you are an exquisite gentle woman who sincerely came here to find an answer to a real problem. Now, to start, I'd say that given your son age, he is most likely driven by both his natural sexual needs and his love for you. At 19, he shouldn't have problems to find a suitable girlfriend to start an emotional relationship or even a sexual one; yet he seems to like to masturbate himself onto your underware better, which is certainly a disturbing issue. Since you do not seem willing to talk to your doctor or to a psychologist about this - let alone your husband - there are only two ways you can possibly go: leave things as they are and keep doing the laundry, or bring them in the open and try and find a solution to whatever problem might come out. Let me know what you think and count on my help for what I can."
It took Caroline several days to decide whether to answer or not.
On Saturday, April 14th, she at last got decided and wrote back:
"Thanks Bud for your answer. I've been off for a while, but now I can go back to the problem again: I do not feel like bringing things in the open directly, not yet at least; I rather think that when Billy leaves for College I may put a letter in his suitcase, just to tell him that I know what he's been up to, so when he gets to school he'll find it and know that I know. He wont be back until November, so he will have time to get over this. In the meantime, I'll behave as if I knew nothing. Thanks, Caroline."
That same day she got Bud's answer back:
"I expected you'd say something like this, which sounds like escaping the problem to me! Yet, you have already shown yourself capable to take anything that comes in your way, otherwise you would have gone to your husband or anybody else, disconcerted and unable to take any reasonable action. Look here now: it is very possible that reading that hypothetical letter of yours triggers an irrational decision on his part: disappointment, shame, fear! Who knows! Therefore I suggest that you try and discuss it openly with him before he leaves. What problem would you have with an open discussion!"
Caroline was terribly doubtful: was Bud right!
She went on like this for days until, on Saturday, April 21st, she accepted Bud's advice about the letter:
"Ok, Ok!", she replied to her email-friend, "I wont send him away with any letter, but I still don't feel like I can handle a direct talk."
The answer came back right away and sounded like this:
"The question is: is it just a fetish to him or there is more to it, like a real mother desire We still do not know what his thought is; since you do not look like being a prude, I do really suggest that you discuss these matters openly with Billy."
Days later - this much took her to decide - now taken by this email game, the only resource she had, Caroline wrote:
"I think I got the message; I'll need some hints though. How can I approach this issue! Where should I do this Shall I ask if he's thought also about his sister What if it comes up to be a real attraction How do I deal with such a thing I'm his mother and a married woman. How can he possibly have these feelings about me! If he is unyielding about it, could I ever conceive to do anything physical with my son! I'm really confused and scared!"
By return of post, Bud replied:
"First of all let us state that Incest is not murder or worse, but just an unconventional yet not unusual sexual behaviour. Secondly, attraction between son and mother can be the most normal thing on Earth. Thirdly, there is no need to be confused or scared. Be as natural and straightforward as you can. Do not sound or look hypercritical or negative or moralistic. Just say that you have found signs of his sexual practice on your lingerie and have been wondering how this comes; tell him that he should not feel embarrassed because anyway between mother and son there is a strong natural bond that may be causing some confusion, that you, as his mother, can understand and even feel sort of flattered by this; nonetheless, you must also try and understand what is happening to him. Do this in your home privacy. Find a proper time. Leave your daughter aside; don't even talk of her, unless he does it first, 'cause it could upset him needlessly. Go ahead with no fear at all."
On Sunday, May 27th, Caroline wrote:
"I did it at home yesterday morning; my husband had gone fishing and Emily was out for shopping. I'll try and tell you all that came up from our talk if I just can get over the shock that makes my body tremble still now while I'm typing this. First I asked Billy what plans he had for the day; he said not much, just hang out as usual, so I asked him if he would mind spending the day with me since he would be leaving soon and I wouldn't get to see him much. He agreed and here is what happened next, something that's still shaking me. I asked questions and raised issues following your suggestions. First off, it's not a fetish at all. Avoiding any maneuver he said he is using my lingerie because it is the only way to have sex with me, because he found he loves me and wants me above anything. He said he knows very well what he is talking about and doesn't care what people say. I started crying at the revelation and he did too because he thought I would get mad at him for this and chase him away forever. It took us a few minutes to recover and even laugh a little about it and it took a while longer before we could continue. I asked about girls his age and all that stuff. He said he just had no interest in any. Yet, I couldn't help myself not asking him about Emily too, how he felt about her and if he ever did to her lingerie the same he had done with mine; there came the second and far stronger strike: he and his sister had been oral with one another very often during last year; they had also had full sex several times. I was literally astounded and almost devastated! I did not know what to do or what to say, except I wanted to be sure that it had been Emily to give it to his brother and not Billy to force her to do it. So he assured; he said it happened naturally; they found themselves in bed one day afternoon, nobody else home, like they did with me 10 years ago, reading and having some fun; suddenly they started kissing and touching; they were taken by the excitement, undressed, started licking and sucking each other and then crossed the incest line for the first time. It seems that they did it regularly anytime and anywhere they could eversince. He also said that they have stopped now, even though they are still very close to each other, much more than brother and sister would normally be. I could at last understand the reason of Emily's shyness with other guys, even with her boyfriend. Given this, I had to firmly state that he had no chance to do the same with me, if this was really what he had in his mind, and kept asking myself and him where did all this come from. I can't recall any incident of us being more than just a normal family, so all this is just out of the blue. We could not go further though; I was too shocked and he still not sure that I wouldn't chase him away from home! When the talk was over we agreed this had to stay between us till the grave, no involvement of any other family members and mainly my husband, whose reactions against Billy and his sister could be unpredictable. Regarding Emily, I decided to behave normally, as if I didn't know she has had sex with his brother. I did not tell Billy anything more regarding my lingerie. I feel this is not the major issue at this very moment. First, I have to go over his sexual relationship with his sister and his current sexual interest to me."
Bud's answer came only on Thursday, May 31st:
"Sorry I couldn't answer earlier;", he said, "In first place, be sure I admire you for what you have done and the way you reacted at such extraordinary news. I knew you could make it. We were expecting something like that regarding Billy and you, but what happened between your children is real news and thanks God good news I'd say. I can tell that as long as he keeps loving his sister and she him, you should not hurt yourself because of their incest; it happened, left no ill consequences (and no babies), it seems, and that is all; something unexpected but possible and probably even a beautiful thing! You do not have necessarily to fake ignorance! You wont speak of it first, but won't escape the talk if she starts it. You should also work to save their closeness. So Billy now wants you. My best guess is that Billy has developed a strong attitude towards incest. Had he and his sister not tasted incest, he probably would never have had sexual thoughts about his mother, but they did it and this is a consequence. Whose fault is this! No one's or Nature's fault is exactly the same! Since it happened it had to happen and that is it! As far as you are concerned, what should you do! It appears that keeping the laundry business would not help you at all, but before we go on with this, I must Know what is it that you really feel Caroline."
Marvelling at herself, Caroline felt she wasn't upset anymore with the situation with Billy and Emily; "Odd, isn't it!", she was telling herself on and on.
On Saturday, June 16th, she wrote again to Bud:
"It seems that Emily doesn't seek sex with her current boyfriend but she did have sex with her brother. I'm still trying to understand that. Though I'm not an advocate of incest I think I am beginning to not be so judgemental or scared about it. I don't think it is for me personally but I will not tar and feather those who do it. Furthermore, I can see the sibling attraction better than a parent child one. I may see even a glimmer of a father and his daughter but I think that's because older males with younger female are pretty common in the world as a whole; the older woman younger male dynamic is still not very settling in any event. Now, what happens if I go back and tell him to stop using my underware! Will he take it as a reprimand! How will he react! Like he said and you guessed, it's not just an infatuation; Billy is probably deep into incest. So I choose not to tell him anything; should I still find that he masturbates in my panties or else, I'll simply do the laundry. Besides, he's going to be leaving to College soon, so the issue should go away anyway."
Caroline was happy to read Bud's answer just a few hours later:
"I can tell that your new feelings about incest are quite normal. You are now rediscovering an ancient truth: incest is not a dirty thing and a threat that weakens Society; instead, it is a privilege not at anybody's hand. Its intrinsic value is best recognized when it happens naturally, certainly not when it comes from perversion and abuse. In ancient times it was considered Gods privilege, in order to keep their divinity from decaying. Besides, why mating outside if you've got the best inside! Pregnancy could be a concern when a brother and a sister are involved, but that can be easily monitored and avoided nowadays. Is it so hard to believe that incest can be much more fulfilling than sex with unrelated people, who know nothing of you! Regarding father-daughter and mother-son, actually it is or should be, the other way around: a father holds a position twice as strong as his daughter's: he is her father and he is a man; he cannot or should never use such a double advantage to satisfy his sexual desire. Mother and son are in a more balanced and right situation; I can say and you can bet that the mutual sexual interest of young males and older women, besides being extremely common, often with aunts, is just shamming mother-son relationship, know it or not. Now, are you sure of the reason why you don't ask him to save your panties! I mean, are you sure you are not actually flattered and excited by this! Look into yourself Caroline, then tell me: are you really sure! Summer holydays are at the door. We won't have many chances to hear from one another now. For the time being, take care of yourself. I'll be waiting news from you around the end of August."
Part 2 - Caroline is going to surrender
That was an extremely demanding Summer, at the end of which Caroline's son was heading to College.
So far, she had no chance to get into it with Emily and she intended not to anymore, leaving it to them.
Of course, if she came and told her something, she would discuss it with her but she reaaly meant to just go on until then.
Billy would be gone until Thanksgiving now and they had a tearfull goodbye session.
Emily and Billy looked like a married couple parting for a long separation.
Caroline thought nobody else noticed but she caught the implications.
She feared they might be an "on again" item; the way they looked when Billy left made her think so.
Did that make any sense She was sincerely confused.
Bud showed up again on the 13th of September:
"Here we go again. No need to be confused; there is always a sense; question is to find what it is. With just the look of their eyes when he left we can only make guesses about what the status of their relationship is right now. Given they were together last year, then stopped and this fetish item came up with Billy, knowing what Billy said I believe that Emily has always been the closest thing to his true sexual and love interest since the beginning, that is you, knowingly or not; that is why, after they stopped being together, he turned to the fetish alternative; if your talk made it clear that he can't have you, he might have talked his sister into being back together and either she did not say no or they made love once again before the parting, which could explain their sad look. Anyways, I suggest that you accept that; beside the "top secret" issue, there is no major problem in all this since either way they seem to love each other, no matter whether he loves her as herself or as if she were you, because even in the second case he would still love her through you as well as you through her. By the way, what about the stains in your lingerie!"
Caroline did not know the answer to the issue; she couldn't state for sure if and why Billy was targeting his mother, if it was as a proxy for Emily or vice-versa.
As for Billy using her things, that hadn't stop until last week, when he left.
For the rest, she thought if they were on it again she guessed she could deal with it; it did not seem so gross to her anymore.
One thing troubled her a bit nonetheless: if they stay together, then sometime in the future their father might either get suspicious or find out the whole story; "But," she thought, "why being worried about what hasn't yet come to pass".
This is what she wrote to Bud a week or so after his last message, being able to read his answer on October 2nd:
"His still using your things would actually indicate two things: first, he has always been targeting you; secondly, they did not have sex recently. What you saw in their eyes when he left was a sign of their intimate bond, that's all. As for you, there can be several reasons why he has those feelings, but for the moment I'll pick just one, basing on him being now 19 years old guy, not a child anymore: he is in love with his mother; as simple as that. You will have to deal with this not just as his mother, but as a woman too. As such, you can accept his love or refuse it, but this is how it stays. However, he's gone now and you said he won't be back till Thanksgiving, which, at least, will let you recover from these remarkable events and save your lingerie at least for a while."
Caroline so replied:
"As for him still having those feelings for me 'it is what it is'. I wont cheat my husband so the thing won't happen. If for some reason I were single, I just don't know (I can't believe I just said that). Two months ago I probably would have vomited, but once you look at the situation from outside you get a different perspective. Emily seems sad though, that's why I think they may still be in their situation. It isn't the 'I am hurt' sad; it's more the 'lonely type' sad as if something's missing in her life. I know that type of sad. I think I may have had the same look when my husband had that long business journey. Although I already had my two children at the time the look was the same, I'd bet on it. PS. Just a note: I got my first letter yesterday. It seems he took a pair of my panties with him to school. Also Emily has received several letters; I think she has gotten one almost everyday since he left and who knows what's going back and forth in the e-mail. PPS. He wants to send back the panties he took with him and for me to send him a fresh pair."
Bud: "Did you send him the fresh pair!"
Caroline: "Yes I sent them! I know I shouldn't have, but I did, I don't know why. I got them back and they were just totally covered by him. I don't mean the usual spots, I mean covered! I guess he had a lot of pent up feelings."
Bud: "Again I must ask what's really in your mind! You keep saying that you would never have sex with Billy, that you are no cheating kind, then you keep this fetish thing alive and ongoing! Maybe you're the cheating kind Caroline, maybe you're cheating yourself. Wouldn't you tell me the truth! Isn't it possible that you're negative about having sex with him not because you do not want to but because you fear the possible consequences of getting eventually caught by your husband or by Emily! To me, what you're doing seems more like water over greek fire if you see what I mean. Why letting the fetish gain ground if you are really unavailable to have sex! Why not telling him definitely that his desire can't have any hope and ask him in his own interest to make efforts to switch to a platonic relationship, even though with more affectionate kisses and hugs, or to go back to a conventional one!
PS. Here is something that I want to share with you. You may have guessed that I'm in incest too but what I'm about to say will make things clear to you. A week ago I went south to visit my sister. You must know that my sister and I have had sex together soon after adolescence. We lived out in the countryside, had more or less just one another, which made us very close in many ways and were most curious about sex (dad was a gynecologist). It started a summer day; it was afternoon and we were in dad's studio, our parents taking their afternoon nap in their room upstairs. Dad's desk was right beside the window on the left, a single bed in front of it aside of the door. I used to sleep there, while my sister's room was upstairs too. That day though, a hot day, she came in the studio and jumped on my bed inviting to 'play'. I remember her lovely blue eyes and her braids, her soft lips and moist tongue. She had about the look of Olivia Newton Jones in Grease, only little bit younger, remember! She is still very beautiful. It is funny how one can remember some things with this level of detail, whenever happened, and yet totally forget things, even though involving and happened very recently. It's still incredible and shivering how we could do that with our parents sleeping upstairs, taking the strong risk of being caught. Then, each of us went his own way for some years. She got married, but her husband wasn't exactly what you'd call a good choice. They split after a while and she was alone like she had never been. We resumed our relation, including sex, some 3 years ago now. Some might condemn all this; instead, I cannot think of anything more rewarding and fulfilling. Think about this, Caroline; it might help you too to look into the mirror."
Bud did not hear from her again till Christmas time 2001.
She said she was enchanted reading about him and his sister; it had made it very clear to her how intense and lasting incest can be once it happens, not even slightly comparable with conventional mating.
She gave some news then, apologizing for being off so long because "things around here have been hectic", she said, "juggling a lot of hot irons".
"Common hot irons or something more if I may ask! Is Billy back home for Christmas and the end of the year! If yes, why don't you make the most of it talking to him again and trying to understand how he feels now I don't believe you want to keep things this way forever don't you!"
Caroline could not find time to spare on emailing until the 12th of January, 2002, when she wrote:
"Billy was back home last November and then on Christmas time, and yes we had most relevant talks. He said he could not effort anymore to think of me and see me without having me. He even wrote poems to me. In both occasions he has been around me all the time, touching me, kissing me on the lips, bringing me flowers, caressing me anytime he could, letting me feel desirable and excited as I never felt. I could do nothing to stop him and maybe in the end I actually did not want to. This is how he feels. As for myself I feel upside down and up in the air, to the point where I now feel I could make love to my son, and this scares me; am I a pervert! What is happening to me! His behaviour and our emailing removed all prejudices. Incest is no more a taboo to me, but what is more astounding I'm starting to feel its heat, maybe even to seek it. I think I probably would go all the way if only things were different."
Bud: "Now that's some news indeed! Christmas time must have been really plenty of those 'hot irons'. First of all, do not think of yourself as a pervert mother for you are not! Then,'if things were different', you say! How different! Are you referring again to yourself being a married woman and no cheating kind! What sort of difference could it possibly make right now! I'm not urging you to do incest; one has to feel this way and want it for himself. I simply want you to be able to stay on top of things, not being overwhelmed by them; but look here now: he has already had sex with you through your underware and he knows that you know it and that you're letting him do it, which is exactly like doing it for real from a mental standpoint; now, you just stated that you would go all the way if things were different. All you two are missing right now is making love to each other for real and you having his cum inside yourself rather than on your panties! Now I feel that deep inside yourself you have always desired to go all the way; as a matter of fact, you did not try to hold him from his fetish attitude; instead, you gave him new stuff to be stained with his cum; what I'm not sure about is why you'd want to do it, if it is because you feel this desire, or because you feel that this is the only way to let him overcome his emotional situation, or both. Mentally speaking, Caroline, you've already cheated your husband; going further is just a question of nothing, but if it has to happen it must be for good. I think I could be of better use to you if you'd open yourself to me a little more. Are you getting along fine with your husband!"
Caroline, a little while later:
"I just came to realize that if we didn't have the other members in the dynamic then I would go the whole distance. He knows it and so do I but that is what it is. Meanwhile, Emily has noted something but she affords me my privacy, as I do hers. Regarding John, he is a good husband, not much communicative and even less passionate but I would never cheat him for anybody else; problem is Billy isn't just anybody else; he is my son and he was able to awake emotions I never felt in my entire life."
She did not receive mails from Bud for months, due to business keeping him around the world, until on a Thursday, October 3rd, he mailed again:
"I hope this email finds you well and that you spent your summer holidays happily. I deeply apologize for being off for so long. I've been overdue in France on business and had no way to check my mailbox, which is full at the moment. I should have told you but it was a sudden departure. Not having heard from you in the while I was wondering how things are going with you and your family members, namely your son and daughter. Any progress! Is Billy still on you! Does he still show signs of his desire! Is Emily still involved!"
Caroline: "Yes and yes; even more! Definitely, not being a cheating kind is no use. Billy became more and more demanding with his kissing and touching, especially while up late watching TV; I wanted him to make kind of a cross over to the physical, but wasn't able to hold him totally at bay. It happened four times during Saturdays afternoon, all Summer, and things got more and more out of hand. I wanted to stop the madness but I could not and I finally gave up. His last assault on me was so passionate and hot that after a while I found myself holding his bare hard penis in my hand stroking it while french kissing each other and having his hands first roaming all over my breast and thighs and then his fingers on my pussy. My head was spinning! I was out of my head! We became like wild animals eager for each other. He put his fingers inside me; I couldn't help opening my legs to let him in. He came in my hand as well as I came on his. When the madness was over, we kept kissing lightly on each other lips, eyes, forehead, cheeks and hands, sweating and breathless. Soon afterwards Billy looked shining! It was like he had finally broken the invisible barrier that kept him away from me. Despite the shock for what I had done, I couldn't avoid smiling inside. What has happened to me, I really do not know! The entire evening we feared that signs of our lovemaking could be perceived by either Emily or John. Luckily, they had other issues to take care of so did not pay the slightest attention to both of us."
Bud: "Don't grieve about what has happened! I knew you would end up like this and I regret not being there when you probably most needed advice and help. What happened is no madness, just love and passion between you and Billy; incest! Yes! but you shouldn't have such kind of concern anymore! Let us leave that to someone else! Accept one thing: if you did that, somehow you needed that! I guess Billy will be back for Thanksgiving this year too and then for Christmas. Let always Billy make the first move and free your self completely. You need only caution not to get caught. Keep this as the most valuable secret of yours. Should Emily know more than you think, don't be afraid, behave normally and make her feel more loved than she deserves."
Part 3 - Caroline does the deed
Bud had to wait for news from Caroline until February 15th, 2003; but then here is what she let him know:
"I know I haven't been on in a long time. Life just kind of sucked for awhile. John has been a real shit, but not about things we've discussed here, rather because Emily has been giving him a hard time 'cause he doesn't like her current boyfriend. She seems to have found her course and looks to be quite stable though. As for my son-daughter's situation that seems to be a thing of the past; both seem to have moved on from that situation. I am pretty sure she is totally unaware as to Billy and I. Now, the big news! I know you have been the best, so here it goes: 'Billy and I did IT', not something to brag about but it happened and it was very intense. We did the deed three times over the Christmas break. It was just straight forward, no oral no 'experimental' stuff or anything like that, but I have to say it was extremely pleasant. I don't regret it at all. If we knew we would be alone for a couple of hours with no chance of getting caught we would have done more, no doubt about it. I want this now! Maybe I always needed something like this but I was simply putting the thing aside, shyness, fear, conformity, call it as you like better. The first time we did not even undress; he just took off his t-shirt and kept his jeans; I had no bra under, just took off my panties. I lay in his bed and he was soon over me. In no time his fingers found their way to my pussy and started fingering me while kissing and tonguing. I slowly unbuttoned his jeans, freed his already hard and hot cock (i'm also beginning to be as forward as I've never been before!) from his trousers and began masturbating him, until, when I felt I was soaking wet and very close to an orgasm, I urged him to put it inside me. He did it, his cock all the way in, while still kissing and tonguing me. Despite Billy's cock is much like his father's, the sensation was totally different and hotter. He was really hot and made me so 'dripping-wet' (again, pardon my little vulgarity here, but I guess there is no other way) as I've never got. He moved slowly in and out and in circles, teasing and taking me slowly to the top. We tasted our mating like this for a while, until we could not hold back anymore. We reached our orgasm simultaneously onto and into one another, his cock suddenly swelling, hardening and then exploding in me, his sperm mixing with the waters unleashed by my now open dam. We rested there for a little while tasting our sex, the emotions, the smell, still kissing and savouring each other's saliva, his cock coated by my orgasm. I never experienced something like this in my life; a real bliss! The second and third time, Billy wanted to undress me first. Then, there he was, naked before me, his hard cock pointing up to the ceiling, throbbing, yearning to be inside me again, while I was laying in his bed, waiting for him to come over me. We did it totally naked twice; I'm at a loss to describe this experience. Always in his bed, that was the ground rule; as stupid as it may seem, I'm not about to take another guy into my husband's bed, not even Billy. That's John's bed and nobody else gets to go there. I know it's silly but that's the way it stays. So, there it is, you are the only other person that knows outside of the two of us."
Bud: "I'm really happy for you and moved by your confifrnce. You say 'nothing to brag about'; I say this is something to be proud of and not to feel guilty about whatsoever! Your description of what you did is so warm! You and Billy will certainly get to the oral and to the 'experimental stuff' very soon; but do not be hasty about this, give it time, savour this moment. As I already said, always let him make the first move. About your 'must do it in Billy's bed' rather than in yours or in both indifferently, beside any logic, if it does make you more comfortable it's fine. I understand how you feel; nonetheless I'd ask you to see this in the right perspective. As I said time ago, you already cheated John, mentally first when we dealt with the panties problem and physically then, but in the meantime you did not, because we're talking of your son, whom you owe your love. It's not common adultery we're talking about! So, I recommend that you take this bed deal more lightly."
Caroline: "You may be misunderstanding my meaning about the husband's bed deal. It is simply my husbands sanctuary, his bed, and he should not have to share it. That's all I'm saying. Billy and I are constantly in contact with one another while he is at College. We do flirt back and forth online and over the phone all safely away from prying eyes and eves dropping to be sure never the less it's there. We both know what it's about, so no use make believing we don't. We will probably do things again and again. We both seem to be comfortable with it now. I can't wait to have his tongue between my thighs, while I make love to him, to its beautiful purple cock head for hours before tasting again the bliss of him inside me melting around him."
Bud: "I think I got the meaning of sanctuary right; I understand quite well either the fascination of complicity implied by Billy's bed or your scruples about your husband's one. Simply, I tried to encourage you to take this bed issue lightly for simple reasons. You two can feel accomplice wherever you do it, it does not depend on the bed where you do it; instead, your scruples about your husband's bed could trigger a guilt feeling in your mind; thirdly, Billy making love to you in your husband's bed certainly would not spoil your marriage's alcove and in any case your husband is already sharing you with him, even if totally unaware of it, which is far more relevant than sharing just his bed. Of course, if keeping the two beds one light year apart in your mind makes you feel more free and comfortable do so, but beware not to take this sanctuary idea too seriously. What matters more is to keep your incest absolutely secret and safe! No one has to know! Your happiness depends on this! Always do it at home, never outside! If you have to use your husband's bed in order to achieve safety and secrecy, use it! You'll not harm anybody! I'm sure you'll have a beautiful time with your son Billy. Someday, he might look elsewhere to have a family of his own. If he will, don't be possessive; let him free as any mother should; it is very feasible that he will never stop making love to you anyway. You'll find that what happened between you two will be the most precious thing you have. Well, I guess my duty is over. Anytime you feel like emailing me on anything just do it. Your friend Bud will be here for you. Happy wonderful incest!"
... to be continued ()
Note by the Author
This is an absolutely true story in all its aspects.
Some years ago, I found myself helping this young lady, Caroline, to deal with the unconventional sexual desires of her son Billy (their names are fictional).
In the story, my (nick)name is Bud (fictional name as well).
When the story was over Caroline and I had no further contact for a while, during which it came to my mind that I could recollect our emails to arrange them together in a story.
I then had Caroline sending me some further notes.
For now, this is the end of "A mom's metamorphosis", even though Caroline's story is just at the beginning.
In a couple of years, a gentle and courageous young lady got out of the silk like a butterfly and unfolded her wings to fly free higher and higher in the blue sky. Caroline said they don't want others to know about her and Billy; that was meant to keep people around them out of it.
Of course, acting the other way around, would have been totally insane and disruptive.
Telling the story like we did, changing names and some situations, doesn't betray them.
I can't say if this story has further chapters.
All I can say is if Caroline and Billy will let me know and tell more, you will be the first to know.
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