I've been too scared to cross into gay or bi world, but the more time that goes by I figure why not enjoy myself maybe I'm afraid I'll like it too much and have to admit I've like men just a little bit too.
* * * * * * *
It was a wicked hot day in July 08 and I was in the dog park having some fun with the pooch when this tanned older guy walks up and starts making smalltalk with me, we talk for a few minutes when I notice this guy is eyeing me from top to bottom, from my dark brown eyes to my semi bare chest stopping at my clearly outlined cock in my shorts(no underwear!shit!) I'm used to women giving me the stare and don't know if I should split or just ignore the tanned, kind of handsome,older guy checking me out..
He's asking me if I'm single, am I straight or bi he apologizes for being so forward but tells me he couldn't resist cause I remind him of a younger Richard Gere. Ha! I tell him, chicks been saying that for 20 years to me. although I know it's just a casual resemblance it flatters me a bit and his flirty behavior reminds me of old memories and a few unfulfilled fantasies I've had and denied over the years.
First. I was straight all my life except for a few circle jerks and rubbing of cocks as a young fellow hanging out at the treefort with the boys years ago, I'd touched a guy named Peter's "peter" and rubbed my hard cock against his moist and hot asshole and buttcrack till I came on his back. Had a few cocksucking dreams(sadly only that) as a college student and let a kinky girlfriend penetrate me with a 9.5 " dildo in my horny and willing ass every weekend till I secretly craved a real hard one pounding me. So lets just say I was in touch with my feminine side but stuck with girls and left the guy thing as just a hot fantasy I'd never really need to fulfill.
Just then he ask's me "would I like to take the dogs for a walk around the neighborhood", "sure" I find myself saying unbelievably before I could say I had to go. damn, what was my mind up too ha! I knew right there and then I was going to let this guy fuck me one day, O.K. maybe not but I would sure have a good J.O. fantasy to pleasure myself to later. anyways we walk and talk for about an hour and end up back at the park, he senses I may leave and steps a bit closer to me than I'm used to with men and asks "how big is your cock" "nine and a half" I laugh and step back "No" I gasp "I wish" "IT LOOKS THICK" Rob says! I'm starting to protest a bit that I really like women but find myself telling him about jerking off with my buds way back as he's staring me hotly in the eyes. "can I touch it" Fuck No I say I don't feel like getting beat up if anyone is watching but Rob says come over in the trees so he can give me a hug for being so kind and honest with him about being straight but open. So I just hugged he guy goodbye and took his # when he offered me to drop by sometime if I ever wanted a blowjob or to talk. How bold these gay guys are I thought.
So I go home and you just know I jerked off about 3 times in an hour! I was now starting to question exactly how my guylust may have been under the radar for many years and I just didn't realize it, I thought of the times I used to have phone sex with my long distance G/F and we'd buy Hustler or Penthouse in our respective cities and flip through the magazine till we found a pic spread that turned us on, I distinctly remember one of a hot blond and a black dude with a forearm sized dick, I actually got a funny feeling in my stomach when I saw that HUGE cock! so as my G/F told me how much she wanted that huge cock in her tight little white cunt,stretching her pussy permanently wide forever! Maybe she'd save me her ass cause her pussy'd be useless to me after that she'd joke.
I was stroking my cock thinking of him fucking her raw with that 13" prick, when I started to think of him fucking me instead, I made that poor girl talk about taking that black cock so much I'm surprised she didn't think I was gay or something, a few years later trying to get her to fuck this black guy Yardy I knew with a 12"x8" perfect ebony prick bigger than my wrist(he gave all the guys Xmas cards of him getting a blowjob from some tiny blond) which I showed to my girlfriend in hopes off her wanting him(she said no thanks, so I jerked off to it till she threw it out) so then I flash further back to my youth and the circle jerks, Now I remember it being me who told the guys check to this out,not the other guys asking meas I remembered!. "lets whip out our dicks and get them hard and cum so I could see what other boys hard on's were like. then years later buying a big 9.5"x6"vibrator in college for my girl to use, but somehow at the right time suggesting letting me get her in the butt with it jokingly knowing she would say no, so I would suggest her doing me if I could do her in the butt, YEAH it worked!! you know it worked, thinking back I had some bi tendies, but just chalked it up to fantasy.
So anyways thinking about this over the course of the week and other times men had tryed to pick me up made me realize I should maybe be open to a guy/guy thing. I rushed over to Rob's the following Sat. and rung his buzzer, 666, no joke,really! he answers and buzzes me up, i had brought a few joints and some condoms just in case and to not have an excuse to go all the way should he get me wet and ready!
We have a few cokes and a Bob Marley spliff when I ask him to use the computer for a minute, I show him some private Myspace pics of me naked coming out of the shower, then switch to some hot naked black studs fucking some random chicks on another site and ask him if he wants to jerk off with me on the couch cause I like black cock I say.
We drop our pants together and start stroking our cocks in rythm to the big hot cocks on the screen, I start telling him about my few experiences with guys and some of the stuff I just told here, Rob asked if he could blow me I was nervous and said I really want a big, black cock for my first exp. so I asked him to jerk me off for a while first and see, he grabbed my cock so hard and started to stroke me for about 5 mins to finish with a sparying,violent cum, I shot all over his hand, my crotch and clothes and his poor couch. I thought I was going to go soft as he held my cock in his warm hand, he said he'd love to lick my cock but come makes him gag, I said it's o.k. as I wasn't sure I wanted that anyways, but stayed rock hard as he stroked my cock like no woman ever had before, I asked him to go easy as it tickled so he gently stroked me to orgasm my cock leaking precome like never before till I exploded again. I cleaned up and stuck around for a while but didn't go any further with him after that,
I see him from time to time, he is always whispering under his breath to come over and visit, so he can finish me, but I'm sure if I do I'll let him do it all over and more this time, He has no idea how many nights I've jerked off to that afternoon delight we had 2 yrs ago, or how I've thought of sucking his nice fat cock greedily before letting him take me to his bed and bugger me like I've been begging for it in my fantasies..
I've been too scared to cross into gay or bi world, but the more time that goes by I figure why not enjoy myself maybe I'm afraid I'll like it too much and have to admit I've like men just a little bit too. so without futher adue, I'm getting up tomorrow morning and walking over to Robs apartment and see just what could happen if I open up a little and stop worring about what everyone will think of me liking a good hard cock on the side.
I'll write again if anything happens as I'm sure it will.. if I stop being such a puss and just open up! literally..
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